How pregnancy makes you like a superhero
How does pregnancy make you like a superhero…?
During your first pregnancy, everything is new, exciting and different, isn’t it? Last time I dutifully listed all the unexpected symptoms (all I can say is thank goodness the awful ad with the gravy cow isn’t on any more). But basically, there are hundreds. Twinge in your back, dry nose, can’t sleep? Yep, yep, perfectly normal, let’s blame the baby. Some of them are fine, some are vaguely annoying, some are worse.
But if you think about it in a different way, pregnancy side effects are a lot like magical super powers I’m not talking about growing a baby giving you the ability to fly, read minds or move things just by thinking about them – although how amazing would that be? – but the more subtle and everyday things. There’s the superhero effort of putting up with it all for all that time, Then there’s the heightened extremes of senses and freaky abilities that have been granted to you just for nine months.
So forget Superman, Batman, Ironman, Spiderman (why are they all men?) pregnancy powers are where it’s at:
Super-human sense of smell
The ability to sniff out the abandoned carrot in the back of the fridge from halfway across the kitchen. Or identifying a nappy change two minutes before it happens (on the minus side, not so great when it’s other people’s children…or bins on a warm day). Things that smell good also smell REALLY good, too. Like walking past bread shops.
A magical book of ready-made excuses
Although second time round you just have to get on with everything – last time I wouldn’t lift a laptop bag, this time I regularly cart a toddler, pram and nappy bag up and down steps without blinking an eyelid – there are still certain things you don’t have to do. My husband is currently mid-way through painting the house. I’d love to help, but you know, toxic paint fumes. Normally lame to go to bed at 9pm? I’m just going upstairs to read…really.
No hangovers, granted for nine months minimum
Although it can be miserable sticking to just a tiny half glass of wine every so often while everyone else Instagrams cocktails and Facebooks from the fun haze of ‘just one more’ bottle of Prosecco, at least you’re not struck down with cold hard remorse and the 5am pit-of-your-stomach-fear and dread of ‘what have I done?’ the next morning. Although morning sickness is pretty much like a hangover without the fun pre-amble, if you think about it. Oh…
Making things disappear
Food. Packets of biscuits. My new speciality, punnets of cherries in minutes. Then there’s all those receipts to the new maternity clothes you just had to buy.
Cloak of invisibility
It’s funny how a massive bump renders you near-invisible to London commuters sitting in the priority seat. Add a toddler into the mix? It means people see you but see right through you (I’m not bitter after recently standing for 20 minutes, no).
Aura of mystery
When I’m pregnant, I can’t imagine anything else. Then once I’m not, I can’t ever really imagine it. People are captivated by pregnant women (me included). Growing another life? What’s it like? It’s just endlessly fascinating.
Powers of replication
Think about it, you’re making another version of yourself. Tiring, nauseating, sometimes strange, but mostly amazing.
Ability to freak people out, again and again
“I can feel a foot!” “Look, my stomach is moving!” Never gets old.