32 Things You’ll Obsess About In Your Baby’s First Year
Your Baby’s First Year: 32 Things You’ll Obsess About In Your Baby’s First Year
Just had a baby? Here are 32 things you’ll obsess about in your baby’s first year…
- Why no-one told you childbirth was going to be like *that*
- If you’ll ever feel normal again
- The bellybutton clip
- How your baby could possibly be one week old already – where does time go…?
- Boobs or bottles, in some form or another
- Is it too cold? Do they need another blanket? Shall we turn the heating up to ‘super super tropical’? Shall I put an extra top on over their vest, babygro, tights, cardigan and snowsuit? Do they need socks?
- Is it too hot? What does the back-up thermometer say? Is factor 50 enough? The pram parasol’s not covering a tiny fraction of their body, oh my god
- How your baby is the most beautiful baby ever and they should probably be a child model despite the fact you don’t believe in that, and all the other mums must be secretly jealous, but yeah
- Some sort of minor mini person medical non-ailment that will send you into a tailspin of 3am visits to Dr Google and self-prescriptions of worst-case scenarios
- If your baby will ever sleep through
- Or just sleep
- Or if you’ll ever sleep. Or if lack of sleep can actually make you crazy.
- How you really, really need that life-changing baby thing that’ll solve all your problems immediately. That doesn’t ever work and why did you waste your money?
- If they’ll ever do X (insert random developmental thing here) because all the other babies in your NCT group are, and how is that person’s baby walking already?
- How you really, really need another super-cool unisex patterned babygro. That immediately gets covered in sick. Or that super-cute impractical outfit they’ll never, ever wear
- That all the other mums seem way more natural, sorted and good at this motherhood thing than you are (clue: they’re not)
- Six months…already? Slow down time!
- Weaning, how to wean, if they’re eating enough food (not realising that your child will hit three and point blank refuse to eat anything but chips and cucumber for a week on holiday, and you’ll be fine with that because cucumber’s a vegetable, right?)
- Where that mum over there got her patterned muslins from
- First tooth is coming…no it’s not…first tooth is coming…no it’s not…first tooth is here! Now, just need to repeat this 19 more times
- Which top secret super hiding place you put the red book in
- Your child’s injection scar
- The best way to spend time during nap time, for the entire nap time
- How is it ten months? HOW? My baby’s grown up already
- Going back to work, not going back to work, childcare, if you should have put their name down for nursery pre-conception
- Some ridiculous thing the health visitor said
- If your child will be developmentally, emotionally or physically stunted if you miss Baby Yoga this week because you’re too tired to leave the house
- Some ridiculous thing an old lady in the supermarket or person on a bus said
- How is it possible your baby is nearly…one?
- And how did you survive?
- Why you spent so long obsessing over ridiculous things
- And isn’t it funny how unconditional love is a real, actual thing? Hey, baby x
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