32 things you’ll inevitably obsess about in your baby’s first year

August 27, 2015

32 things you'll obsess about in your first year of motherhood, from milestones to feeding and development

  1. Why no-one told you childbirth was going to be like *that*
  2. If you’ll ever feel normal again
  3. The bellybutton clip
  4. How your baby could possibly be one week old already – where does time go…?
  5. Boobs or bottles, in some form or another
  6. Is it too cold? Do they need another blanket? Shall we turn the heating up to ‘super super tropical’? Shall I put an extra top on over their vest, babygro, tights, cardigan and snowsuit? Do they need socks?
  7. Is it too hot? What does the back-up thermometer say? Is factor 50 enough? The pram parasol’s not covering a tiny fraction of their body, oh my god
  8. How your baby is the most beautiful baby ever and they should probably be a child model despite the fact you don’t believe in that, and all the other mums must be secretly jealous, but yeah
  9. Some sort of minor mini person medical non-ailment that will send you into a tailspin of 3am visits to Dr Google and self-prescriptions of worst-case scenarios
  10. If your baby will ever sleep through
  11. Or just sleep
  12. Or if you’ll ever sleep. Or if lack of sleep can actually make you crazy.
  13. How you really, really need that life-changing baby thing that’ll solve all your problems immediately. That doesn’t ever work and why did you waste your money?
  14. If they’ll ever do X (insert random developmental thing here) because all the other babies in your NCT group are, and how is that person’s baby walking already?
  15. How you really, really need another super-cool unisex patterned babygro. That immediately gets covered in sick. Or that super-cute impractical outfit they’ll never, ever wear
  16. That all the other mums seem way more natural, sorted and good at this motherhood thing than you are (clue: they’re not)
  17. Six months…already? Slow down time!
  18. Weaning, how to wean, if they’re eating enough food (not realising that your child will hit three and point blank refuse to eat anything but chips and cucumber for a week on holiday, and you’ll be fine with that because cucumber’s a vegetable, right?)
  19. Where that mum over there got her patterned muslins from
  20. First tooth is coming…no it’s not…first tooth is coming…no it’s not…first tooth is here! Now, just need to repeat this 19 more times
  21. Which top secret super hiding place you put the red book in
  22. Your child’s injection scar
  23. The best way to spend time during nap time, for the entire nap time
  24. How is it ten months? HOW? My baby’s grown up already
  25. Going back to work, not going back to work, childcare, if you should have put their name down for nursery pre-conception
  26. Some ridiculous thing the health visitor said
  27. If your child will be developmentally, emotionally or physically stunted if you miss Baby Yoga this week because you’re too tired to leave the house
  28. Some ridiculous thing an old lady in the supermarket or person on a bus said
  29. How is it possible your baby is nearly…one?
  30. And how did you survive?
  31. Why you spent so long obsessing over ridiculous things
  32. And isn’t it funny how unconditional love is a real, actual thing? Hey, baby x

P.S. baby milestone cards…for mums and  things I don’t miss about life before children.

15 Comments

  • Roxana Țucmeanu

    August 29, 2015 at 10:06 pm

    Hi ! I’m sure i left a comment but i can’t see it, neither if is awaiting approval … i guess it’s on spam 🙁

    1. gillian

      September 14, 2015 at 8:58 am

      Just found you in spam! Phew x

  • Helen Simmons

    August 31, 2015 at 8:37 am

    It’s so true, lol. It was very tired but happy to see our baby growing up day by day.

  • Sarah

    August 31, 2015 at 10:05 pm

    Very funny but very true list!! I am on baby number 2 now and I still do about half of the list.

    1. gillian

      September 14, 2015 at 8:56 am

      Me too! 🙂 x

  • Mammy Pat

    September 1, 2015 at 12:18 am

    Thanks for posting.. These are very familiar.

    I’d add co-sleeping? Cot? Moses basket? Cot attached to the side of the bed? And all the terrors associated with making the wrong choice.

    1. gillian

      September 14, 2015 at 8:55 am

      YES! So true. So much baggage attached to each. Especially first time round x

  • Katrina

    September 1, 2015 at 1:26 pm

    Is it weird, that even with Bear at 3 years old, I still obsess about getting THOSE funky muslins?!! 🙂 x

  • Sugar&Rhubarb

    September 1, 2015 at 10:39 pm

    Are you in my very mind?! I was preparing to right the numbers down in my comment as a sort of agreeing-nod-like-thing, but that’s ridiculous when all of the points apply. Bravo mind reading lady!!x

  • Roxana Țucmeanu

    September 2, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    I’m sure i left a comment because some of those things happenned to us like non-experimentally parents and you make me remember, but i can’t see my comment 🙁 Btw i’m reading you from Romania 🙂

    1. gillian

      September 14, 2015 at 8:43 am

      I can see it! Thanks so much. Hello! Thanks so much for reading xx

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  • Anne

    September 11, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    But even you’re too tired… I still don’t want my baby to grow too fast! lol…

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