Forget Halloween; here are 25 things that are genuinely scary for parents
Any kind of clock change (WHAT extra hour in bed? HELLOOOO 3AM)
The permanently overflowing washing basket.
Any one of these.
Seeing ‘Nursery’ ring your phone in the middle of the day, shortly before your heart jumps right into your mouth.
Going under the dark cloud on the Wonder Weeks.
Running out of baby wipes.
Leaving the house without at least ten packets of baby wipes on your body at all times.
Last minute dress-up days.
The post-pregnancy hangover along with 5am wake-up call from a child bouncing on your head.
The 6.55pm regret that you didn’t buy all the wine from the shop.
Running out of tea bags.
Running out of milk.
‘Mummy! I’m wearing your new lipstick.’
What inevitably comes after any time you feel genuinely sorted or smug about something tricky related to parenting.
Not recognising yourself in the mirror after six years of broken sleep.
When you put the cereal in the fridge despite your baby being an actual child now so you can’t blame it on baby brain. Is this who you are now?
‘Bring along something for the bake sale tomorrow…’
Being late to drop-off and having to do the walk of shame to the late book.
Running into the school gate for pick-up when other children are already coming out.
Hearing the floor creak loudly as you do the silent stealth ninja tiptoe out of the nursery in the evening.
Realising that parenting really is like having an extra part of your heart walk around outside of your body, making you full of indescribable, overflowing love but forever fragile.
Here’s hoping the clock change was kind…if not, here’s some extra reading – things they don’t tell you in NCT classes, everything I hate about the school run and if baby milestone cards were made for mums, this is what they should say…