The return of the toddler

Hide your baby wipes, keys and nail everything down…the toddler is back.

So yes, we suddenly have a toddler again, and I’m not sure when this happened. Florence has been walking for a while and talking – non-stop – since what seems like the dawn of time (and today’s dawn, definitely). But it’s only recently she’s become a proper toddler toddler. Massively mischievous, with intent.

I’d forgotten how brilliant this age is, and how fantastic their appetite is for the whole new world stretching out ahead of them, full of wonderful things. But also, how exhausting (and this time she has a partner in crime! And a house with two flights of stairs to play in).

‘It gets easier’ everyone says, and it really really does, but then they forget to tell you it gets more difficult again. And easier. And more difficult. Each age has its own set of unique challenges that mostly, you forget about as soon as you’ve passed them, Everyone thinks mothers are programmed to forget the pain of labour, but I reckon it’s not just that. In my head, toddlers = two year olds you can reason with, not the one-and-a-bit year old saying ‘Mama, wipes, wipes!’ as a cute smokescreen to distract you from the fact she’s actually emptying the packet in seconds from half way up the stairs.

Oh, mum amnesia.

Here’s all the things about toddlers I’d completely forgotten about:

• All of these
• The love for these things
• The shopping side-swipe of doom: Think shopping is a nice, relaxing pastime? Ha ha ha. My new move is manoeuvring the pram right down the middle of any aisle and leaping quickly to the side to fetch things. Otherwise, out comes the arm ready to empty entire shelves of the amazingly tempting things on them. Hi, online shopping
• The Pram Houdini: Making their way out of the pram straps in seconds
• Beware of the bolter: Free running, as fast as they can, in any direction. Over and over. How are they so quick?
• Waving in the face of fear: I forgot that at this age, they’re completely fearless. Hence Florence’s leap off the bed,

Fun, but also I’m so, so tired. We might avoid art galleries for a while…

More toddler posts…telling toddlers about new babies, a mini toddler room tour and nine truths about toddlers when you’re pregnant