Slightly alternative ways to induce labour

October 13, 2014

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Throughout this pregnancy, I’ve mentioned several times that I was in no hurry for the baby to arrive. Me? I’d never be one of those impatient people complaining about a non-arrival for weeks and weeks. I would be calm and patient and serene, and waft around in floaty kaftans, meditating and chatting introspectively to my navel. ‘Baby will come when baby is ready’ intoned the woman on my hypnobirthing MP3, and I’d nod sagely.

So what now, now that I’m late?

It’s fair to say I’m feeling slightly more…antsy.

I was convinced – convinced I tell you – that I’d be early due to a both a really active pregnancy and the baby being low low down for so long that it felt like they were going to drop out when I coughed anyway. So with both crashing and crushing inevitability, nothing happened.

And now the sun is well over the due date yard arm? It’s a strange sensation, being stuck in this liminal moment. I know I’ll never get this time back, and I should be cherishing the free moments for me, as it’s all going to be hectic and crazy once the baby is here and I’ll probably look back at it being a golden time when everything was simple and easy. The agony of childbirth is an odd thing to actually want to happen. You can tell me that due dates are only an approximation, and about the French due month, percentages, strong-willed second babies, and so on. I know, I know. But I also just want to know something is going to happen…at some point. And hopefully soon.

Like most overdue pregnant women, I’ve been reading up on ways to naturally induce labour. And although everyone seems to have a success story, it just seems like it’s going to happen when it happens, and it’s coincidental that this may be after you’ve had sex, tweaked your nipples for hours and eaten a giant curried pineapple while on an 80 mile jog.

So I’m thinking about more alternative ways to induce labour instead. I’m sure one of these is bound to work, right?

Alternative ways to bring on labour - ideas to induce labour if you're fed up of waiting for the baby! Funny list to read if you're expecting as baby

Red mist of rage: I’ve had a lot of latent and irrational rage this pregnancy, so surely this could be used as a force for a positive effect. All I need is for someone to buy me the wrong cake. Or I might go and get a on bus so no-one will give me a seat instead.

Temptation: Like a mouse trap and cheese, would wafting a large glass of wine and a plate of all the pregnancy forbidden fruit – pâté, Brie, salami, smoked salmon – in front of my womb work? The only problem with this is that it’s me that wants those things, not the baby, and I really wouldn’t need any convincing to tuck in.

Toddler them out: I’ve been walking miles and climbing up and down stairs like Spider-Man to no avail. But should I instead follow Eliza’s most active example? “Let’s dance, mummy!” she says about ten times a day, or “Hop, hop!” I’m so getting into this today.

Pester power: I wouldn’t say I was on a par with Rachel from Friends begging Ross to have sex with her. But, you know, my poor husband. And if pester power if works for a snack-wanting toddler, would it work on the baby…?

Who knows? x.

8 Comments

  • Kim Carberry

    October 13, 2014 at 10:20 am

    I hope one of those works!
    Good luck x

  • Alison Perry

    October 13, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    Try reverse psychology. Book yourself a few spa treatments and the baby is *bound* to come on those days (just before you head off for a massage).

  • Munchies and Munchkins

    October 13, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    Nothing really worked for me and I went overdue with Chloe BUT I did use clary sage in my bath and although it didn’t kick off labour it made me feel immensely calm for a few hours afterwards so I highly recommend it.x

  • Gabi

    October 13, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    oh dear! Impossible for me to know what it feels like but it’s going to be pretty soon and meanwhile I hope you can dance along with Lizey lots and have soothing clary sage baths to make your days a lot more enjoyable 😀

  • Molly

    October 14, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    I’m with Alison on the reverse psychology spa treatment idea. Bound to work! As a lady who went 12 days over with number one and 9 days over with number 2, I know exactly how you feel. If you’re looking for rage inducing techniques why not just park yourself outside and let random passers by comment on why you haven’t “popped” yet. Worked for me – it was rage a go-go! xxx

  • helloitsgemma

    October 22, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    hated this stage, remember not being able to go anywhere without someone feeling the need to comment on the size of my belly. “Oh SHUT UPPP” I wanted to scream, instead I smiled.
    Acupuncture worked for me and this from a woman who has a needles phobia, the alternative was induction and anything was better than that. good luck.

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