My child is starting school and I’m excited / terrified

So it’s official, we have the primary school place which means my child is starting school (did you get the school place you wanted? Hope so).

It’s a big event, getting the school place, isn’t it? It’s the culmination of all those visits and research and thought and worry and waiting – and then suddenly it’s there, in black and white.

And at the same time it feels like it’s comfortably in the distance. The whole, long summer is stretched out between RIGHT NOW and STARTING SCHOOL. But then I know from last time it’ll go really quickly. We had a letter with her school stay and play date, and then the summer holidays always seem to fly by, and September will be here and…

Waaa! Let’s face it, your child starting school is both a big thing and a big emotional thing, isn’t it?

I’m not sure it’s any less emotional for us even though it’s not our first child starting school. First time round there were all the unknowns…and second time round it’s all known, but then it’s our baby going to school and how has this happened and wasn’t she just born (yes)?! It’s bye to the baby days, for good.

At the moment, I’m vering between the extremes of two emotions.

My child is starting school. She’s excited! I’m exciting! It’s exciting…

It’s exciting! It’s the next step towards independence, she’s ready, she’s ready to learn to read and make new friends, and do all the brilliant things they do all day at school (whatever it is they do all day in school).

She’s excited! Some of her bestest friends are going too…she knows the school as has been there twice a day for three years for drop-off and pick-up. She’s thrilled about wearing a uniform, although I’ve not quite broken the news that you can’t wear pink sparkly socks pulled up over your tights and a Wonder Woman cape. She’s excited about the reception rabbits….and about having hot chocolate after forest school (everyone’s highlight, of course).

I’m excited! I’m excited about the prospect of all that time. For six-ish years I’ve been squishing about four days of freelance work into 1.5-2 days of childcare. I’ll now have five days a week to work and think and breathe and mess around on Instagram and possibly say yes to all the things I’ve had to always say no to, and do some of the things I’ve never been able to do (I’m still not cleaning out the giant loft cupboard though, no thanks). I’ve promised myself that after at least one day, I’ll come home from the school run and go straight back to bed. So there’s that.

My child is starting school: I’m terrified…

On the other hand, I’m terrified. What happens when the novelty wears off? I’m not sure she realises it’s 5 days a week, for the foreseeable future. I know it’s a big adjustment from the cosy cocoon of nursery.

How will I cope after seven years of always having a child by my side? What if I still walk down the road, alone, shouting CAT! And LOOK IT’S A BIN LORRY? Will I go in to the shop and heatedly debate with myself about why I can’t have an overpriced and wasteful magazine of plastic tat?

And also – that’s my baby!

And then…every (non nursery) day when we come back from the school run, I go to make a cup of tea and F goes to play an elaborate game with a million Barbies and LOL Dolls. Sometimes we chat, sometimes we pad about in comfortable companionship. And always, always she’s right there. Until September…I can’t believe there’s now a time limit on that. Already, the silence is ringing in my ears.

I asked a school mum, who’s youngest child is in Eliza’s class, what it’s like when your youngest child starts school. ‘Great!’ she replied, followed by a whisper ‘Awful, though! I still miss them!’

So in short, there are so many conflicting emotions when it comes to your child starting school.

Me: Who am I going to chat to all day?

Alex: We’ll have to get the builders in again.

Here are a lot of school-themed posts…What not to do when your child starts school…ten things I hate about the school run…and 32 things you’ll obsess about when your child starts school