Did you go to a lot of baby groups and activity sessions with your first child? Looking back at the toddler’s first year we went to baby massage, baby yoga, breastfeeding groups, playgroups, play dates, rhyme time at the library, Gymboree and met up lots with our NCT group (we also had a lot of sofa time to balance it out).
So what about your second child?
At nearly four months the baby comes along with us to playgroup, the park and play dates. But so far she has been to a grand total of zero baby-focused activities. She’s not even graced the baby area of any of the playgroups as she’s usually asleep in the sling.
While I do have my hands full with the toddler, she has two days a week at nursery, time we could conceivably use to do at least one baby thing. However, we haven’t…yet. We have been out for nice leisurely lunches, met friends, gone shopping a few times and tried to do bits and pieces around the house. But mostly we’ve napped, watched some Netflix and napped some more.
In my first PR job we were given ‘duvet days’, extra days off where you could call in when you just didn’t fancy going to work for your own sanity. I figure nursery days are as close as I’m ever going to get to this again (despite the fact I’m still looking after the baby on these days, a job that was all-consuming last time, and it’s still a baby who likes to be held all of the time who will only nap on me). It’s almost a guilty pleasure to spend the time in this way. It’s lovely when it is just the two of us and it’s nice to have a bit of calm – something that would have been inconceivable to me as a first time mum.
Someone said to me once that all these classes are basically for the benefit of the mums, not the baby. And this is probably true; first time round we spent most of the time comparing notes on childbirth and trying to make sense of what had happened to us all. Plus lunch or at least cake was always on the menu.
Should I feel guilty for not doing more this time round? I kind of value my sleep and sanity a lot more. I’m up many times most nights and these are the only nap opportunities that are going. I also think the baby needs some alone / us time, and the toddler needs for me to be slightly rested. And I figure there’s always time in time to do something, anything.
Did you second child go to as many (or any?) groups as your first?