Minding the – baby age – gap

London (ish)What’s the perfect gap between babies? I know, déjà vu, I’ve talked about this before. But it’s been on my mind today as I realised that if I got pregnant this month then there would be exactly two years between children. We’d previously thought that would be along the lines of the right gap size of gap to leave.

But now it’s actually here, guess what? It’s not a train I think we’re going to be in any rush to catch. 

A big barrier at the moment is our house situation; we’ve still not really decided where we’re going to move to. But apart from that, I’m really enjoying being back at work, and being able to wear my normal clothes, and carving out some time to do things (like update my blog).

As lovely and joyful as tiny babies are, toddlerdom is just brilliant. Walking, talking – it seems like we’re only just getting to know Eliza. And although we’ve all been getting more sleep overall for a while, with teething, illnesses and coughs on repeat, I’m still pretty tired. I seriously can’t imagine myself doing all this while being pregnant too.

I loved being pregnant. I’m so excited about having a future another. Just…not yet.

I read somewhere that the gap you have between your siblings is the one you want to replicate with your own children. There’s three years between me and each of my brothers, so maybe there is some truth in that?

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  1. April 3, 2013 / 4:11 am

    My children are just over two years apart in age. I thought this was about perfect until someone pointed out that I’ll be having to deal with A-level and GCSE exam stress both at the same time! You might well be wise in waiting 🙂

    • gillian
      April 7, 2013 / 4:19 pm

      True, but then at least all the exam stress will be concentrated at the same time and not all spread out for you maybe? 🙂

  2. April 3, 2013 / 6:56 pm

    I have four children and so have small and big age gaps. There was just fourteen months between my first and second baby, then almost seven years before my third baby came along then my fourth baby was just less than two years later. I have to say that I don’t think there is such a thing as an ideal gap as there are positives and negatives either way. Only you know when the time is right for your family I think. Great post 🙂

    • gillian
      April 7, 2013 / 4:31 pm

      Really interesting to read this from someone who has different gaps, thank you so much! I’m hoping – as we knew exactly when was right to start trying for baby number one – that it’ll be just as clear with the second. And thank you 🙂

  3. April 3, 2013 / 11:05 pm

    I’ve 4 years between 1&2, exactly 2 years between 2&3, 8 years between 3&4 and 18 months between 4&5. There are pro’s and cons to all of those gaps. It’s lovely to have two close together to play together, but you can devote extra time to a baby and toddler when you don’t have another youngster. You get more sleep if you wait between them, but on the other hand it can be good to get those sleepless years and nappies over and done with in one go…
    I’ve 2 step-children too, and 5 teenagers in one house can certainly be very trying! 😀

    • gillian
      April 7, 2013 / 4:33 pm

      Wow, all those hormones flying about the place! Thank you so much – I guess I should stop over-thinking it really…x

  4. April 4, 2013 / 8:34 am

    I think I commented on your last post about this subject and I said that there’s exactly three and a had years between my two and it was the age gap I always wanted. I can confirm that I think the age gap is still perfect. I know for some it’s a big age gap but for me it works really well.

    • gillian
      April 7, 2013 / 4:28 pm

      Yes you did, thank you! Actually there’s about three and a half years between me and my younger brother and that works well, and it was the age gap my mum wanted too x

  5. April 4, 2013 / 3:59 pm

    I’ve always had mine close together – in my silly way I just wanted to condense the harder and more tired baby years!

    • gillian
      April 7, 2013 / 4:28 pm

      I guess there’s lots to be said for getting all the proper tiredness out of the way in one go, rather than having a break and getting back to normal sleep – only for it to be snatched away from you again! x

  6. April 4, 2013 / 4:16 pm

    This is something that I worry about too – although we always thought it would be a fairly small gap, Little T is 28 months now & I’m enjoying him so much I don’t feel like I could split that 2 ways. There’s also the cost implications of having 2 lots of childcare costs to pay, which we’d struggle with. I’m now thinking 4 years might be perfect – Little T will just be at school, so I can dedicate my time to a new baby! I’m a big believer in things happening when the time is right, so we’ll see.

    • gillian
      April 7, 2013 / 4:26 pm

      It’s a good point about childcare for two, it’s expensive enough for one. Someone on Twitter pointed out that from three you get the free childcare hours, so it might be worth holding out for that little bit longer. Hopefully we’ll both know when the time is right for each of us! x

  7. Elliotandme
    April 5, 2013 / 6:28 am

    Interesting post, but in my experience I’d say don’t get too worried about the age gap. I have one little boy who is nearly 2 and a half. This was my ideal age gap but unfortunately after 2 miscarriages I’m not even pregnant yet, so my ideal is now something that stresses me out as it is now unachieveable. I’ve come round to the idea that children come along when they’re meant to, and whenever they do will be the right age gap for you.
    One day when I’m brave enough I’ll post about this on my blog.

    • gillian
      April 7, 2013 / 4:24 pm

      Thank you so much for the comment, and so sorry to hear you’re having problems – life can be pretty rubbish sometimes, can’t it? It’s a really good point that they come along when they’re meant to, it took us ages to get pregnant for the first time so I shouldn’t really stress about the second when I have no clue what will happen. Let me know if you do post about it on your blog, so I can read x

  8. April 10, 2013 / 3:49 pm

    I think we always assumed we would go with the same gap as we each have with our sisters; about 2 years, 9/10 months. Think we will wait until Holden’s second birthday to even think about as like you, Ive only recently returned to work after 13 months off so would like a bit of normality back. We are planning a holiday at the end of this year so maybe after that.

    But then again who knows how long it might take so I dont want to leave it too long between them but then again dont want them too close together. I think because I’m still feeding Holden I couldnt imagine being pregnant again just now, not just yet!

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