If toddlers made paint charts…

September 23, 2014

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We’ve finally reached the decorating stage of our house. This means many visits to DIY shops, and hours spent pouring over wallpaper samples and paint chart strips.

Paint’s a tricky one, as there is such a wide range now, isn’t there? And so many shades and tones and variants. From the basic – dreaded magnolia – to as pretentious as you like (Farrow and Ball’s ‘dead salmon’ – dead salmon, anyone? Yours for £60 a tin). For example, this weekend we spent hours debating the merits of pale dove vs soft pebble. Which are – shhhh – the same colour of grey.

Eliza is fascinated by colour, and loves the paint chart strips we have around our house. But what if toddlers were to make paint charts based on the colours of their lives? I’m sure the names would be very no-nonsense, much more black and white, and pretty much do what they say on the tin.

Here’s some tester pots of examples:

* Another cup of milk please pleeeeease white
* Squashed banana yellow
* I’m not eating the orange carrots you’ve spent many hours preparing
* Babybel red
* Peppa Pink
* Can we go to the park even though it’s raining? green
* Blueberry
* Dried Weetabix stuck-to-the-floor brown
* 5.30am surprise wake-up sky grey
* Black(out blinds that don’t really work)

You’d have limited editions:
* Mr Tumble’s range of fluros
* Metallics inspired by Mummy’s shiny and grabable jewellery

Then a special range only for parents:
* End of the long day red
* End of the long day white

And coming soon:
*Any wallpaper you want, as long as you want it with added handprints.

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