Mistakes I *definitely* won’t be making in 2016

‘Those who fail to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it’ – said by many, many people, according to the Internet

Wise words, right? So in the spirit of new years, fresh starts and all that, here’s some things I absolutely, definitely won’t be repeating next year*:

Letting either child play with my phone because it gives me five minutes of peace. Hello, tiny screen crack of doom.

Letting either child play on my work laptop because it gives me five minutes of peace. Goodbye, productivity (and hello, taking forever to restore settings and find creative ways to convince my toddler that no, there are no longer photos of painted pumpkins on mummy’s computer and CBeebies has stopped working on it).

Introducing one or both of my children to the concept of ‘lunch pudding’ because I fancied some biscuits.

Memorising my PayPal password. How can I remember this and not things like my own name or the fact we only went to the shop for nappies (yet often leave with ten other, different things)? Any tips on un-remembering a thing? My bank balance will thank you, especially at 3am or during long feeds when I’m honestly only casually browsing, really. Lets just hope they don’t allow you to pay via Paypal on ASOS or Zara or I’m doomed, I tell you.

Listening to any giver of terrible parenting advice.

Not having ready-made answers to any of  millions of the big ‘why‘ questions my nearly-4-year-old will inevitably sling my way. Especially as I know the ‘d’ one is coming.

Not having the change bag permanently packed and ready to go in the style of a super-sorted and efficient person, especially on playgroup days (and definitely not turning my back on it for a second so they can’t immediately empty it). And not having the cupboards and fridge fully stocked with snacks and nutritious meals at all times so we’re not constantly making the walk of shame to the shop, again *ahem*

Drinking anything more than half a drink. After rediscovering the horrors of the post-baby hangover several times this year, it’s moving on to a non alcoholic beverage with a side order of virtue and snugness for me, all the way (no smirking at the back there! I do mean it. This time. Oh wait, shall we just get the bottle?)

Suggesting an alternative when my children want to watch Star Wars again (HELLO twenty-something Harrison Ford. How, after all these years, have I only just noticed this?)

* Really. Of course not. I mean it about the iPhone though, definitely.

More 2015 posts…everything I learned about life from Judy Blume books, things they don’t tell you in NCT, everything you’ll obsess about in the first year and the first six months with a baby.