An alternative Christmas gift guide for new mums

An alternative Christmas gift guide for new mums…

‘Tis the season for…a gift guide. They are everywhere at the moment if, like me, you need any Christmas shopping ideas. And having recently had a baby – which I’m totally using as an excuse for being unprepared in the present department – I was interested to read this gift guide for new mums, by a certain celebrity magazine.

So what did it suggest? Ideas of presents for the recently pregnant include a cashmere scarf and a spa break. Everyone loves a little indulgent luxury, but have you ever tried getting baby sick out of cashmere? A massage with small child attached to your boob probably isn’t very relaxing. And would anyone really appreciate a £175 faux safety pin engraved with their child’s name? It’s about as much use as a…£175 faux safety pin engraved with your child’s name. The sheer impracticality of it all made me laugh.

So what would someone with a newborn really, really want for Christmas? Here’s some ideas, in my slightly more realistic Christmas gift guide for new mums:

• Someone to hold the baby while they have a shower
• Someone to hold the baby while they take off the nail varnish they’ve had on since having the baby six weeks ago (just me?)
• Someone to clean the house while they hold the baby
• A nap
• Five hours sleep in a row
• Five minutes to themselves
• A glimpse of the bottom of the washing basket, however fleeting
• Hot tea, first time round
• The chance to read the magazine they optimistically bought last month
• A friendly ear while they chat about the gory glory of childbirth, stitches, and how amazing the baby is, aren’t they amazing? Look at their tiny hands and big eyes! Etc etc.
• A giant cake and an even bigger glass of wine
• A massive hug.

What have I missed off my Christmas gift guide for new mums? What would make your alternative new mum gift guide? Strictly no ‘handwash only’ fabrics allowed.