The clocks go back this weekend! So that means an extra hour in bed…right…right?!
OF COURSE NOT, YOU’RE A PARENT! Even though the clocks *do* go back which does *technically* means an extra hour, as most parents know, any kind of adjustment in the grand scheme of things never means an extra hour in bed, but instead means NOTHING GOOD and everything gets messed up and there’s no extra hour and it knocks all sleeping patterns out of sync, usually meaning everyone’s up extra extra early.
The extra hour in bed myth is the most mythical myth this side of mythendom. Extra hour in bed? What extra hour in bed?
And as the parent of two of these, this mythical extra hour is more likely to be spent blearily hissing ‘Why isn’t CBeebies on yet?‘ while one happily wide-awake child sits on my head and the other on the back of my legs, me thanking higher powers for the existence of iPlayer then drinking all the caffeine in the world with a chaser of…wait, is it actually early enough to still be considered late, hence alcohol is a-OK?
And as a parent to very young children, time to yourself is the things that’s in shortest supply. So if we’re talking mythical here, then what mythical things would I do if I totally did have that extra hour, all to myself?
Here’s 25 of them…
- Wake up, nap again
- Curse myself repeatedly for not making the most of all those lie-ins and sleep before children. Because one of the things they definitly don’t tell you in NCT is that you’ll never have that hour back again, not for the foreseable future
- Make a hot tea, let it cool to the perfect not-too-hot-not-too-cold temperature and then drink it at leisure. Repeat and repeat and repeat
- Finally read the magazine I bought when I was pregnant. First time round
- Read one of these
- Make the sort of complicated fancy food dish you can make when you have two free hands; like toast
- Eat it all to myself
- Watch something on TV that’s not this, this or people making clothes out of playdough or Disney Collector opening toys (probably ASOS hauls…my husband ‘This is the grown-up Disney collector!)
- Decide to watch something serious on Netflix aka spend an hour trying to decide on what to watch, end up watching nothing
- Paint my nails, let them dry leisurely with zero fear of chips and smears because I didn’t take a chance on painting them in the two seconds my children were looking the other way
- Take a long bath without the company of slight mouldy Swimming Dora, ten ducks and the remote control for company (why is it in the bath? Who knows! I have a toddler)
- Think about doing this early, realise it would be ridiculous to do anything other than leave it till the last minute
- Hold a long conversation about something grown-up, e.g. the news, the weather, probably with myself
- Contemplate running away to join the circus for a rest, give up on that thought half way through because it’s too exhausting
- Stare at a wall
- Write an ode to how much I miss sleep, sung as a two part harmony
- Do NOTHING AT ALL
- Do everything, because I still naively believe if I had an extra hour to myself to just get things done I could take over the world
- Run around being so pleased at my spare hour I’d inevitably waste it, a la this
- Be vaguely bored and miss the children. It’s inevitable.
What would you do with an extra hour in the day?
More posts…when your 18-month doesn’t sleep through, to all the less-than perfect mums and on not getting anything done when you have small children